i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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