Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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