Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
