this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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