Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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