Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
