she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
