He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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