This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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