youre lurking in front of me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
