im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
