is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
