Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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