i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
