my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize