so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
