she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
