P.S. I can't hear my feet
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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