for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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