My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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