I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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