Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
