I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
