i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
