Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
