Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Your penis caused this!
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