Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
