Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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