The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
