So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
