i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
