He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
