just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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