wanna go halves on a baby?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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