my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
