you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you would pick up someone in the library
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
