Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
