Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Randomize
