He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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