Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
