Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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