so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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