Someone shit on the floor
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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