I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
soo... how was my night?
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