ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
That's how pantless uber rides happen
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
