the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
