I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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