Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
