I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
