Can Purell be used as lube?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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