i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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