then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?