I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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