I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
