She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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