i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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