Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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