I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
