Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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