FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
