I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
