ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
