Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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