So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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