I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
